For Mother’s Day I decided to make a trek home to see my beloved mother the Cleveland Indians. Also, to see my real mother. But first, I went to see my Dad. My dad, as he often does immediately reminded of how similar we are. He took me to a local bar and, I kid you not, without knowing anything about EXPLODING DOVES, starts showing me weird baseball stuff on the walls of this janky towny bar.
The first thing he showed me was an old picture of my grandpa and uncle playing baseball on the city’s little league team.
We also crushed a few 80 cent Oakie burgers that were surprisingly not disgusting while he regaled me with tales of the 1959 Cuyahoga Falls White Sox. (They were good??)
After a few days of being regaled to and eating 5 cent cheese burgers I was ready to catch an Indians game.
HOT SECRET: The Terrace Club
Here’s a little PRO TIP for you. Almost every major league stadium has an awesome indoor lounge where you can go watch the game. These lounges usually have decent food and reasonable prices and require no special ticket. Cleveland’s version of this is called THE TERRACE CLUB and it’s DOPE.
The Terrace Club lets you make reservations from 2 hours before the game or make reservations during the game. As long as you have a reservation there is no need for a ticket. TTC is also encased in protective plexi and dangles out over the lower level of the first base line. Its kind of awesome. Did I mention the beers are cheaper than they are from the vendors?? You’re welcome.
Of course catching the 216 on the clock completely by coincidence was awesome too.
While you’e in TTC you can check out the Bob Feller shrines located liiike everywhere. The SKEETER FROM VAN METER is clearly important to the Indians.
Down the right field line there is a cool little area called “THE DISTRICT” Its another one of those areas that is kind of a DD (DESIGNATED DRINKERS) area. The tickets are 13 dollars and come with a beer, rendering the ticket pretty much free. Its also packed with younger more able bodied fans who are capable of standing and generally aren’t lugging around OXYGEN TANNKS or 5 pound PEE BAGS strapped to their legs. Were talkin’ HOT BODS!
After we mashed a few million drinks we headed back to our seats in the upper deck of the 3rd base side. But not before we stopped in the concourse to take our picture by the giant C. (guess what it stands for). Somewhere in this time period I managed to find the new era store. This is becoming a bit of a treasure hunt for me. I wont tell you where it is in Cleveland but its one of the more difficult ones to find. Like a 9 on the lid level.
We were also lucky enough to sit behind some people from the future that had been together since 9619 and traveled back just in time for this game and boy were they in for a treat.
Just as the TIME TRAVELERS were getting comforatble one of my favorite things ever happened…
THE RALLY SQUIRREL:
A squirrel took the game over somewhere around the 7th inning and it instantly made the game unforgettable.
People really loved that rally squirrel. Hes quickly becoming MY exploding dove.
We moved on to the timeless classic take me out to the ball game. People were jacked AF after that squirrel situation and the TMOTB was poppin because of it. solid 7.8 on the scale.
In the least important news of the day: The Indians Lost! But the weather was great and it was super fun and boring and exciting and relaxing as usual.
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO I BID YOU ADIEU…