Randy Johnson Murders Mourning Dove

On March 24th 2001 Randy “Big Unit” Johnson faced one of the fiercest opponents of his life. “Unit” who stands 6’10 and weighs in at about 225 was known around the league for his nasty 100 mph fastball. On that spring day only one being would dare to stand in his way, a mourning dove.

Now, some of you may be crying, laughing, shocked, confused or somewhere in the middle, but, consider the Mourning Dove. That little sky rat was just doing his thing, flying around, eating old peanuts and cracker jacks then along comes the Randy man.

This basically sums up baseball. Its weird as hell. The stadium layouts make no sense, some of the players could barely be labeled “athletes”, the games are essentially pointless, and ANIMALS ARE DYING ON THE FIELD!

Now lets stay here for a second. Can you imagine this happening in any other sport? NBA, clock winding down, Lebron shoots the half court 3, and what’s this… a mourning dove… annnnddd dead. ONLY IN BASEBALL!

Baseball is adventure, baseball is murder, baseball is lawn care, baseball is corked bats and steroids, baseball is a bunch of weird stuff that isnt baseball, and also baseball is just baseball sometimes. Sometimes baseball is just beer and a super boring game where nothing happens.

Take me out to the dang ball game.




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